TBD: Two Cute Cats, Seeking New Caretaker

Dear Potential New Caretaker,
I'd like to take a minute to introduce myself and my sister Clementine. My name is Nutmeg "Nut" Poss and I am a large, attractive brown tabby female Maine Coon of approximately 7.5 years old. My sister Clementine is a petite orange tabby Maine Coon mix of the same age. We are are currently looking for a new home, as our current caretaker, Kate, is leaving the country in June for at least six months, though we are not exactly sure if and when she is ever coming back. Have you seen the photos of this place called the Seychelles? Looks like paradise, I'd never come back either. Regardless of when she returns, she'd like to find us a new permanent home, as she believes it will be better for us all in the long run. I tend to agree, as I'd prefer to not have to move again and again and again until the crazy woman settles down.

We are looking for a safe, loving home where we can live out our remaining years in the company of a cat loving person and/or family. We are indoor cats who prefer tuna over pretty much everything. We enjoy napping often, chasing string, furry things, sparkly fuzzy balls, and will most certainly maintain the moth and fly population inside your home. We loooooooove to be brushed and petted, there really is nothing like a good ear scratching. We will sit quietly by your side until you decide to pay attention to us, or we might just pull a cat and climb in your lap demanding attention over whatever it is that you are doing. We're fun and unpredictable like that. We enjoy sitting in open windows, feeling the breeze ruffle our long fur and watching the squirrels and birds run amok outside. By the way, someone should really do something about those vermin, we are far too civilized for such murderous behavior. (Not to mention that we aren't allowed outside unsupervised.)

We have never lived with dogs, though I am sure we can get along with ones that don't view us as the enemy and/or dinner. As for other cats, I'm open to making new friends, but would like to get to know the other felines over time. Patience is key to feline friendships, you know. We aren't fans of small children, with their sticky little hands and high pitched screams. Can you really trust someone who poops in their pants instead of a litter box? We don't mind older kids who know how to be calm and gentle with us. I mean, if we are getting brushed or petted, it doesn't really matter who it comes from, right? Beggars can't be choosers.

We'd prefer to be placed in a new home that our owner Kate feels comfortable with (a friend, a friend of a friend, a friend of a friend of a friend......you get the idea). The idea of handing us of to a total stranger is a bit much for her. She thought she could do it, but she keeps bursting into tears every time she looks at us. It's quite annoying really, I keep telling her we are going to be just fine.

Anyways, if you or anyone you know is in the market for a couple middle aged women to keep them company, please let Kate know. We are a package deal and don't want to be separated. We are really more like one and a half cats since my darling Clementine only weighs six pounds. We promise to entertain with our funny behaviors and cute tricks. We also promise to love you on our own terms, if and when we please (we are cats after all, unconditional love is for the dogs). As you can see in the photos below, we are cute and funny and can't wait to be a part of your family.

Sincerely,
Nutmeg "Nut" Poss

P.S. We will come with all our favorite toys, brushes, a litter box big enough for me, and even a cat tree.

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Meow,
Meow meow meow, tuna, meow, string, meow meow meow, window, meow meow meeeeeeoooooww, meow, tuna, tuna, brush, meow meow meow meow meow, love me, meow meow meow.

Meow,
Clementine "Pretty Kitty" Poss
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