I am officially back in the U.S. of A. for a my first visit since moving to Seychelles in June of last year. I spend a fair bit of time in Seychelles explaining to a very international crowd that Texas is not in fact full of cowboys and no, everyone does not ride horses to work. What is one of the first things I see? A cop on a horse in a mall parking lot in Houston.
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| Thanks for living right up the stereo type Houston (or The Woodlands to be exact). |
I also spend a decent amount of time trying to convince people that Texas is not full of thousands of gun-toting Republicans driving their over-sized pick ups at high speeds down massive highways. What do I see on the drive from Houston to New Braunfels? These guys....
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| Bumper stickers say: "Obama's vision for American is NOT my AMERICA" and "The Second Amendment, America's First Freedom." |
The second amendment is that little amendment to our constitution in the Bill of Rights about the right to keep and bear arms. It causes at least half the country to get all worked up about because everyone here obviously needs to own multiple weapons to defend their territory against trespassers. In fact, you can even buy this at the local gas station...
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| Yes, those are rhinestone encrusted purses hanging underneath those signs. |
Speaking of gas stations (or petrol station for you Brits), we stopped at a little gas station here in Texas known as Buc-ee's. Now, when I lived here in Texas and drove all over the state, I'd stop at Buc-ee's to fill up on fuel and snacks and never thought twice about how big it was and all the crazy stuff inside. However, after living abroad for 10 months, defending this great state and trying to tell everyone that no, everything is NOT bigger here, I realized that it is a big, fat lie. Everything is SO MUCH BIGGER HERE, completely over the top and absolutely ridiculous. Thank God, because where else in the world can you pose next to a human sized beaver, buy 20 different kinds of jerky, grab a kolache, purchase a shirt that says "if it harms the beaver, I'm against it," pick up a cooler underneath multiple deer heads, buy a 52 ounce mug of soda (that's 1.5 litres for you metrics), get a pro-gun sign for your lawn, and fuel up your over-sized pick up truck? Only in Texas, y'all. It's good to be home..........for a little while at least.
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| Kolache: /kɵˈlɑːtʃi/ (also spelled kolace, kolach, or kolacky, from the Czech and Slovak plural koláče, sg. koláč) is a type of pastry that holds a dollop of fruit rimmed by a puffy pillow of supple dough.[1] Originating as a semisweet wedding dessert from Central Europe, they have become popular in parts of the United States. |
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| A related dish is a klobasnek or klobasniki, which often uses similar bread but is filled with a piece of sausage. Purists assert that these are mistakenly referred to as kolaches.[1] They may also contain ham and cheese, sausage, jalapeño slices, and resemble a "pig in a blanket" |
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| Yes, I am standing next to a human sized beaver. |
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| Jerky, jerky and more jerky |
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| Because we all need 52 ounces of soda on road trips |
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| Jalepeno, cheese & sausage kolache |
